“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.”― Ernest Hemingway

When he broke up with me, I was really upset that I wouldn’t be going on the free cruise he had won the week before..

Of course, I was devastated by the breakup, but I was counting on that free 4-night cruise to rejuvenate our relationship, plus, the Bahamas is always a good idea.

Alas, I found myself depressed and grieving the end of our 5-year long relationship.

I was back at my mom’s house, 45 minutes out of Toronto, away from my friends, and surviving off my last paycheque from my comfy office job.

The stress of the setback effected my focus at my office job, so I chose to resign.

A few weeks later, my friends sister posted a #throwbackthursday photo of herself working on a cruise ship. I remember going to her house when I was in younger and seeing a map of the world with pins in all the places she had visited.

I always thought it was the coolest thing.

I messaged her and asked if she had any remaining contacts with cruiseships.

The rest is history as they say!

On January 1^st, 2017, a few months after the break up, I became a solo female traveler working abroad for the first time ever.

I boarded a plane to Galveston, Texas, where The Liberty of the Seas, a 6,000 capacity vessel, would be my new floating home.

The job? A port and shopping guide – a fancy sales person who hosts seminars and events to showcase the beautiful tax and duty free gemstones, diamonds and watches that awaits passengers in the Ports of  Honduras, Belize, Cozumel Mexico, Grand Cayman Islands and Jamaica!

A handsome commission and pay? Free food & board? Sail the sea and visit gorgeous Western Caribbean islands? Or sit at my mother’s house, stalk my ex on social media and cry?

So I left, heavy hearted and desperate for a new start.

This is where things got rocky.

I went into emotional shock.

I was trying to escape my reality and I quickly realized my naivety.

You can’t run from your pain.

I’d start the day working, selling jewelry, then at night I’d silently cry myself to sleep.

It wasn’t just the breakup, it was all my stuff  weighing me down.

Even though I was surrounded by gorgeous islands and interesting people,

I still wasn’t happy.

I hit my rockbottom on January 14th, 2017.

Alone in my cabin, I surrendered.

I decided that I would live the rest of my life like someone who deeply loved herself, and that I would spend the rest of my life learning what that really meant.

My self-love journey began on a cruiseship, sailing through the Gulf of Mexico, and it begins every morning when I wake up.

After 6 healing and transformative months at Sea, I returned to Toronto feeling energized and ready for more!

September 2017,  I ventured out again – but this time, with an 80 litre backpack, an open heart and wide eyes.

All the belongings I left with.

I visited Paris, London, Bali, followed by a 1 year working holiday visa in Australia!

While on this side of the world, I hopped over to South-East Asia for 6 weeks to explore Thailand, Cambodia & Vietnam.

And that brings us to today ~ 

Near the end of my 1-year experience in Australia. I’ve been solo travelling for almost 2 years now and doing my best to practice self-love everyday.

The journey continues <3

Be brave,

Narley

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